Psychologist, actor, deeply closeted homosexual. Tobias Funke is a man of many shades, many textures, and he wants you to know of them all. A “never-nude,” he is incapable of intimate relations with his wife, Lindsay, and the rumor mills says that their daughter Maebe may well be adopted.
Tobias Funke Quotes
Tobias: You know, first of all, we are doing this for her, okay, because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second-of-ly, I know you’re the big marriage expert. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead!
Short pause as Michael stares at Tobias, agog.
Tobias: I’m sorry. That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely. I’m … oh.
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.
Tobias: Lindsay, say something to scare me.
Lindsay: FBEEP me.
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